Relationships

How to Heal a Broken Heart There's no two ways about it: as the old song goes, breaking up is hard to do. If you find yourself hurt, bitter or angry after a breakup, Dr. Phil has advice on how to heal the heartbreak.

• Dumped and hurt? Dumped and angry? Either way, take these steps to regaining your strength and happiness.

• Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months...each little step is part of the process of healing your heart.
  
  
• What are your real intentions? Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won't move on until you've truly accepted that the relationship is over.
  
  
  
• We all have an internal conversation with ourselves. Since they shape our outlook, be careful about the language you choose. Words like "nightmare, terrible, and horrible" don't accurately describe what you go through after a breakup. When you use catastrophic terms, you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Spend more time focusing on what you can do.
  
  
  
• You can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger, your sadness — whatever you may be experiencing. It's better to be angry with someone else than to blame yourself. Allow yourself to own your feelings.
  
  
  
• Don't get in a situation where you'll look back someday and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls, e-mailing nonstop...that's not the way to let go of the past.
  
  
  
• And finally, learn to trust again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest.